Crosspost from World Maternal Mental Health day blog by Josee Grenier
In my experience through Postpartum Depression and Anxiety it felt like every fear and trauma I had ever experienced was fresh in my mind. It’s like PPD’s ugly hand had reached deep into my heart in the ‘trauma’ area and just started pulling at things and ‘stirring the pot’.
I remember some days just laying on the couch completely exhausted from the onslaught of painful thoughts and emotions. I felt like someone also pushed the ‘off’ switch on all my filters and coping skills. I had zero ability to sort through or process all the thoughts and emotions I was experiencing. I remember spending a lot of time trying to process every thought and feeling as though I could solve this problem through understanding my feelings. It was exhausting and often it would make my anxiety so much worse. It also felt like unless I could miraculously heal from every trauma I had ever experienced, I would never be OK.
I felt like I must be experiencing all of this emotional distress because I had done something wrong or had neglected to do something good. I felt broken and like there was no hope that I could ever ‘fix’ this. […]